Tales Of Zack *EDITED* 15/4/08 *Testplay release*

[JD_Slasha]

OK, everyone quit posting if it's not directed towards the game topic. I'm reeeeal close to handing out warns.

AHEM:

TokyoKenshin:
You can give out constructive criticism without posting unecessarilly quips like "This is shit" etc. It wasn't until Airose actually posted that you gave any of your posts more explanation. If I catch you posting crap like "this is shit" without any real explanation again, I'm giving you a warn.

Airose:
I appreciate the insight you've given and you have some really good points. What I don't like, however, is that you both have completely derailed this topic. Better to Pm the chap next time, or better yet use the reoprt button so I can come in and directly take care of it myself.

006, WannabeDeveloper, ChaoticRoy:
Each one of you is about to get warns for posting SPAM here. This is not a "Why I don't Post my Stuff here" thread, nor is it a thread to post crap like "this should be Airose vs. TokyoKenshin hur hur" If you have nothing to post about the topic, protip: DON'T POST. Next one of you that does this in Project Discussion gets a warn.

hungery12:
USE THE REPORT BUTTON. Telling people to quit fighting is useless if a mod doesn't see it.

and finally...

Colonist540, by posting anything in the Projects Discussion, accept that people will give you criticism. If you cannot handle that fact then do not post your work. You have a lot to work on so it's best that you take the advice (the SERIOUS advice) given to you and improve your game.

That being said, the next person who derails this topic or flames/posts meaninglessly will get warned. Let's all atleast TRY to act like this is a game topic, alright?!

-JD

 

[moog]

For the third time, I said the story was shit, but either way youre right. I guess I can provide more insight on to why I said that with no explanation.

If anyone actually read my posts it would show that I wasnt just attacking the poor guy. Im not out to get anyone by posting derogatory remarks. His story is overly done and has a terrible plot and horrible grammar. You need to go back and start all the way over, because the story is poorly thought out and isnt any good at all.

The one screenshot you have has decent mapping at best and doesnt tell anything about the story. You should try to go to the mapping academy thread or whatnot to improve that, or post some screens with not just NPCs and show some dialog with the main characters.

Airose, I dont understand why you continued to attack me after I apologized to you, and thats fine. You missed the point of my post twice it seems. If this were some kind of group session then I would be inclined to be nicer to whoever this is that posted the project, but its the internet. I was saying you cant always expect friendly feedback to whoever posts something that is bad (i.e., this topic).

But there, Ive posted to help this guy out, even though I think this might be a joke topic at best. Good luck on this, and sorry for derailing this topic :3

 

[Dalton]

This is about a life of a civilian boy named Zack.He lives in a hidden village named Celestia Village.
One day,a legendary powerfull monster escapes from his seal.The monster's name is Ark. Ark destroys the village and all of the civilians are dead except Zack. Zack fights bravely but he can not lay a powerfull damage on the monster.The monster hits him and he faints.When he wakes up, he realizes he is at a wizard's house. the wizard's name is Aeven. Aeven trains Zack to become a fighter and now his quest is to retrieve the 7 legendary weapon that could lay a powerful damage at Ark and kill the society that is build by Ark.

I bolded the thinds I ´changed grammarwise... Try not to change times, while writing... With your recent grammar, I do not see, how this could become a worthwhile game...

Now the plot...Well... Why is the village hidden? Is there any reason for this? When Ark, escapes, why does he destroy some random village? Hasn't he got other things to do? When Zack faints, why does Ark not kill him? Why does this wizard want Zack to fight the terrible monster? Aren't there armies for that? And shouldn't a wizard train him to be a wizard instead of a fighter? And what gave you the idea to search for the 7 legandary weapons was good? When they are Ark's weakness, why doesn't he destroy them?

You should eloborate on those questions. The plot is rather cliche right now... In a bad way...I don't mind cliches, as long as they are well done. But the farmvillage boy, who's village is destroyed and who sets out to search revenge... That's so overdone... And from what I have read I doubt you can execute it well...

Hope this helps:

~Dalton~

 

[Colonist540]

There i edited it so people will stop argue and stop throw bad word to each other.
Now where could i got a demo of a quest log script.
Making world map is hard work.
Comment me if you think you want something to post into

 

[Colonist540]

B.u.m.p
It post this since 5 April and now is 9 April.
So i will put this on top for an couple of minutes.

 

[mawk]

Almost all people is bad....

Pure evil, comrade. http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa21 ... linger.png[/img]

But it's the truth when we say that your story needs work. I'm sorry, but the entire "a boy's village is destroyed by a demon and he fights for revenge" plot has been worked over so thoroughly that unless you're bringing something new or interesting to it (or just using the story really, really well,) it's not going to be very interesting to play.

Otherwise, work a lot more on your maps. For instance, people's homes shouldn't all look identical -- give your town some variety to make it pleasing to the eye.

 

[Colonist540]

That a good comment and i will try to do what you say.
I will try to watch some map tutorials and something that worth good.

 

[Tansred]

Dalton and Miek summed it up pretty well.
You should skim through your game and think about how bad people thought your grammar was on your post.
If that's the case your game itself will have equally bad grammar. Look to fix that.

 

[Colonist540]

Okay.
Man i really need to read more dictionary.

 

[Colonist540]

Crap...
Sorry but i got no idea on my new synopsis.

 

[Maneo]

                                      Tales Of Zack *EDITED* 7/4/08
This is my upcoming game called Tales Of Zack.


                                                      Synopsis:   
This is about a civilian boy named Zack.He lived in a small village called Celestia.
One day,an ancient legendary demon had escaped from the seal he had been imprisoned within.The demon was called Ark.Ark had destroyed Celestia Village, killing all villagers in the process.
All but one person..
Zack were the only one survived that day. Zack was furious because of what Ark had done, so he made a direct attack on Ark. Unfortunately he could not manage to damage him.
Ark attacked Zack, and knocked him unconscious, with one strike.
Ark laughed, and then left the village. Celestia fell that day.
After that, Zack awaked and saw that he was at a wizard`s house. That house belonged to Aeven. Zack told Aeven the details of what had happen at Celestia.

Aeven wanted to help the boy, so he trained Zack and said that if Zack wanted to even think of defeating Ark, he had to become more powerful.

First, he had to retrieve the 7 legendary weapon so that he could develop his skills. Secretly, while Zack trained hard, Ark gathered more troops, to invade more countries.

The troops had 7 divisions of monsters, including Ark, the vile one.
                                              Screenshot:"Only Two =.="
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii10 ... nshot1.jpg[/img]
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii10 ... rldMap.jpg[/img]
Still need a lot to work on.
WORLD MAP AND CELESTIA CITY SCREENSHOT HAD BEEN EDITED
                                                      Featured:

• My Favourite RTAB made by Cogwheel
• Minkoff Animated Battler
• Moghunter Script: MPW map_name,Menu,Shop,Item.Skill,File.[\li]
  • Anti lag Script made by Hackerx72 (From youtube)[\li]
  Need more feature to make this game a blast
  Credit:
  Charlee Lee :Sprite
  MogHunter: Script (Got from his officially website)
  CogWheel : (I think he made the best RTAB)
  Rpgrevolution : Sprite and Idea
  And all of the people who support me and make sprites for me.
  
                                                  Most idea got from: 
  Friends:
  Destiny's Blades Game (Made by Rpg maker 2003 and supported by Angel-spire AND Latte games)
  
                                                  Script needed:                   
  QUEST LOG SCRIPT NEEDED
  
                                          Under Construction:
  Making 7 Legendary Weapons.
  Making 6 enemies from Ark Troop
  Making New Characters.
                                              Target:
  Over 200 Maps.
  Over 9 Hours of gameplay.
  Over 20 Cities on the world map.
  
                                              Completion
  Script needed = 75% finish
  World map = 99.99% Finish
  Character making = 1/5 Character.
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
  My rest is not until 12 day but i still dont have any idea on the synopsis.
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
                            Team:
  I´m doing this project on my own.
  
              --------------------------------Colonist540--------------------------

I took the liberty to rewrite your description. Hope you like it. The other guys could check if my text edit makes sense.
This is just a suggestion. Copy and paste it in your first post if you like.

Quote: My rest is not until 12 day but i still dont have any idea on the synopsis.

What do you mean?
That you will write a new synopsis in 12 days?

 

[Colonist540]

The revenge thingy is kinda Hot and almost all people use it and i try to think about another idea but still dont have any.
By the way,Thanks.It help me a lot.

 

[Colonist540]

I already put the tool bar that say "My grammar is sucks" so people will know i'm sucks at grammar.

 

[Dalton]

Which won't stop us from complaining... We don't want bad grammar in a game... Get a beta reader for your texts ore something. Just saying "I suck at grammar" is no excuse for not trying...

 

[Colonist540]

=O Oh where do i get beta reader?

 

[Gray]

Well , I'll do it.

 

[Dalton]

Hm... Well I guess if you would just ask some people the testplay your game/demo before the release, many of us would be willing to help you out.  :grin:
I hope you can pull that off well, because I would like to see a game with this plot, that does not suck for change. ^^

 

[Colonist540]

Testplay for TOZ had release.

 

[Gray]

Yay! Just downloaded the game! Opening it now...... And I'm dissappointed.

INTRO - Sucks.

MAPPING - Sucks at certain bits.

EVENTING - Sucks.

YOUR GRAMMAR - Sucks.

Ok , just to be helpful , I'm putting up screenies of examples of this.


OMFG! End of the world!
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk91 ... titled.jpg[/img]
OMFG he morphed into a pigeon!
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk91 ... sfasfa.jpg[/img]
......... What?
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk91 ... tled-1.jpg[/img]
WHY THE HELL IS THERE A TREE TOP FLOATING IN THE AIR?!
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk91 ... asdasd.jpg[/img]

It's got the potential , you just don't have the skills. Try to test it more often , and see the cinematics.

They just randomly trap the evil dude IN A WOODEN BOX..... wtf?

 

[Colonist540]

Thanks.
I will correct it and bring more to something.
Make a good game is hard work.
Recruiting people to help me with this game.