I ♥ Valve
- Thread starter Untra
- Start date
I didn't mark you down for not using XP. I was just being a douche when I said that. Poor me, I still havn't played a good VX game, so I intend to mock all VX games because I'm such an asshole. Hell, if it were up to me I'd mark you down just because I don't like mexicans (I don't even know if you're mexican but I'd still mark you down for that reason if it was ethically appropriate).
/sarcasm
Also, because reviews here are more for trying to improve on the creators game as well as suggest a good / bad game, I offer friendly advice to the people I review. Maybe its a bad habit saying how things can be improved, but it also points out various common pitfalls that can be avoided by all game makers.
@Miek
wait, who are you talking to? Me or Xilef?
/sarcasm
Also, because reviews here are more for trying to improve on the creators game as well as suggest a good / bad game, I offer friendly advice to the people I review. Maybe its a bad habit saying how things can be improved, but it also points out various common pitfalls that can be avoided by all game makers.
@Miek
wait, who are you talking to? Me or Xilef?
He also got pissed off with Halo 3's campaign and said he didn't want to play the multiplayer, BUT THE MULTIPLAYER IS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING GAMEmissingno":3ow7rwgb said:
(If it wasn't, then Bungie really missed the mark)
I'm English. ((AND FYI, I dispise all Mexicans, they have tanned d*cks)) I don't really hate mexicansCoprophiliac":3ow7rwgb said:
All VX games will suck until some creative scripts are made. Thanks for being a pleasant fellow and taking the time to 15min review the events :thumb:
Quintessence: The Blighted Venom is a long time project by one of .orgs long time members Reives. While I admit that before doing this review I didn’t know much about Q-TBV, I can already deduce two things about it. The first, being that the latest installment shows the series is slowly creeping up to and past the number of final fantasy games already out. The second, tells me that someone has way too much time on their hands, or is possibly Asian. Whatever the case may be, I give QTBV fifteen minutes of play, with high expectations and hopes that the game won’t be as story addled as Arc V of you-know-what.
Quintessence: The Blighted Venom
Reviewed By Untravaersil
In my last review of Cast Aside, I mentioned that animated title screens are all the rage these days. Apparently QTBV is the game that started this fad. After a brief intro and seeing a bunch of crows fly past me, I see the list of game options. The options are “Destiny Anew, Memories Past, and Fate Foregoneâ€. What’s wrong with “New Game, Continue, and Shutdown?†I know using those words kind of adds to the feeling of the game, but for a few moments it left me feeling a little confused. I selected Destiny Anew, assuming it meant playing a new game. Thankfully, I was right. The next effect I saw was actually pretty cool. Going off of the animated title screen (which is actually an rtp made mountain), I see a kid walk up the mountain and say a bit of text. It was a seamless animation and I didn’t even know I had selected something. The screen went black, a bit more text appeared and…
“Rated T for Teen by rmxp.orgâ€. Classic. Whoever remembers the RRRB and how awesome they were for pointlessly giving ESRB like ratings to all these rmxp games knows just how cheesy that is. After a three second long fade in / fade out, It begins a main title sequence.
Now I’m going to be honest here; if you’ve never played QTBV before and have never seen this intro, you are missing out. Reives has successfully combined RTP, facemaker and other graphics into this absurdly beautiful choreographed intro, where all the characters make their appearances and so forth. Now I have seen better cutscenes done without so many visuals in an rmxp game, but this intro is so unique and different that it definitely makes itself stand out. Not even a minute in and this intro is just a feast for the eyes. All the graphics, frames of animation and pictures are just truly astounding, and are definitely the selling point of this series. My only immediate grope would be the white tiger that I see. Its movement frames are very awkward looking, and it seems as if the tiger is limping when it’s moving. Maybe this is intended, as I’m not fully aware of Quintessence’s backstory. As the intro finishes, random flashes of a cave appear to traumatic music, and it becomes obvious that something nerve racking is happening. Then, the screen follows a winding cave path until it reaches our heroes, who seem to be having a discussion on the lack of a missing character. She promptly arrives, only to have absolutely nothing happen.
    Let me just quickly digress onto another matter before I continue from here. Let me just mention something about the music; it fits really well into the environment. Its not often you get to hear music this intimidating, but it’s certainly something else. So far the background music has been working almost in sync with the background sound, and the effects it has been producing are something else.
So now that I have been permitted play, I see that the first thing I have to do is solve a puzzle. A great start to a game, especially since it doesn’t involve using many integral or foreign key strokes. What’s more, there are semi-transparent arrows that point to what I need to look at, whose effects are immediate and effective. The intro puzzle is definitely very user friendly until you look at the stuck gate, whereupon the true puzzle awaits. Using seamless animation, the puzzle appears where it shows four crescents with colored orbs in their centers. At the bottom are directions on how to move the crescents and how to change what crescent you have selected. It’s smooth, colorful and convenient. Not all puzzles need to be like this for your game; it’s true, but Mr. Reives has simply outdone himself with this puzzle. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so intricately made for such a simple challenge. At this point, I fell head-over-heels in love with this game. The lack of backstory is definitely stifling, but So far, the only thing that’s keeping me down is the facemaker graphics, which, although they fit in quite well, are too overused and cheesy for me appreciate.
I finish the puzzle in under a minute, and continue with the story. I was expecting the next challenge to be a small battle or another intricately done puzzle, but
I guess that by now I should have figured Quinie was going to keep surpassing my expectations. The challenge was a puzzle, but by the likes of which simply made me gawk in awe. The difficulty curve just went from the level of playing hangman blindfolded with the word four letters long to being asked to solve a Sudoku puzzle. It was definitely a big jump, but by the likes of which are very doable. The idea was to use a bunch of floating rocks to hop to one side of the room to another. A simple concept, but also that there were two switches that had to be turned on and off in order to cross larger gaps. This was done using the other shape shifting character, Naira (I hope I spelled that right…) to transform into a raven and go from one switch to another and turn each one every time the situation called. Like the previous puzzle, the directions were also given once the controls were too become complicated, and it left the player to fend for themselves. It was complicated, but it wasn’t the hardest puzzle I’ve ever been faced with (Professor Layton, anyone?) It gave me the directions when they became crucial to the challenges completion, and didn’t interfere until the completion of the puzzle had been achieved. The controls are a little awkward, but are otherwise generally understandable and it really won’t take you long to get used to them.
    Now the intro and the first puzzle proved to be a healthy five minutes long, but by the time I was finished with this challenge, I had reached my fifteen minute mark. So here I am, wanting to give less praise and more criticism for Quintessence, but I just can’t think of any. Honest! It so far seems to be an impossible task, the likes of which are leaving me feeling ashamed for leaving you without a good game-bashing (or at least are leaving me feeling ashamed for actually liking this game so damn much). So, without further ado, here are ten additional lines of what is wrong with Quintessence.
What the fuck is up with the name?
Facemaker graphics are a no-no.
Why is everybody so obsessed with animated titlescreens? Jesus Christ.
New Game. Continue. End Game. Was that too hard?
Where the hell is the menu?
RTP graphics are way overused in the intro.
Really, what the fuck is up with the white tiger spritesheet?
So many bugs.
Definitely not for beginners.
Quintessence rhymes with Cuntessence.
Otherwise, this is one of the better games Ive played in a long while, and definitely something to stave me off until Master of the Wind Arc VI comes out.
Pro: Super user friendly, story must be enormous, graphics are very pretty
Con: Very long download time, Everything else mentioned above
Best: “Rated T for Teen by RMXP.orgâ€
Reviewed By Untravaersil
In my last review of Cast Aside, I mentioned that animated title screens are all the rage these days. Apparently QTBV is the game that started this fad. After a brief intro and seeing a bunch of crows fly past me, I see the list of game options. The options are “Destiny Anew, Memories Past, and Fate Foregoneâ€. What’s wrong with “New Game, Continue, and Shutdown?†I know using those words kind of adds to the feeling of the game, but for a few moments it left me feeling a little confused. I selected Destiny Anew, assuming it meant playing a new game. Thankfully, I was right. The next effect I saw was actually pretty cool. Going off of the animated title screen (which is actually an rtp made mountain), I see a kid walk up the mountain and say a bit of text. It was a seamless animation and I didn’t even know I had selected something. The screen went black, a bit more text appeared and…
“Rated T for Teen by rmxp.orgâ€. Classic. Whoever remembers the RRRB and how awesome they were for pointlessly giving ESRB like ratings to all these rmxp games knows just how cheesy that is. After a three second long fade in / fade out, It begins a main title sequence.
Now I’m going to be honest here; if you’ve never played QTBV before and have never seen this intro, you are missing out. Reives has successfully combined RTP, facemaker and other graphics into this absurdly beautiful choreographed intro, where all the characters make their appearances and so forth. Now I have seen better cutscenes done without so many visuals in an rmxp game, but this intro is so unique and different that it definitely makes itself stand out. Not even a minute in and this intro is just a feast for the eyes. All the graphics, frames of animation and pictures are just truly astounding, and are definitely the selling point of this series. My only immediate grope would be the white tiger that I see. Its movement frames are very awkward looking, and it seems as if the tiger is limping when it’s moving. Maybe this is intended, as I’m not fully aware of Quintessence’s backstory. As the intro finishes, random flashes of a cave appear to traumatic music, and it becomes obvious that something nerve racking is happening. Then, the screen follows a winding cave path until it reaches our heroes, who seem to be having a discussion on the lack of a missing character. She promptly arrives, only to have absolutely nothing happen.
    Let me just quickly digress onto another matter before I continue from here. Let me just mention something about the music; it fits really well into the environment. Its not often you get to hear music this intimidating, but it’s certainly something else. So far the background music has been working almost in sync with the background sound, and the effects it has been producing are something else.
So now that I have been permitted play, I see that the first thing I have to do is solve a puzzle. A great start to a game, especially since it doesn’t involve using many integral or foreign key strokes. What’s more, there are semi-transparent arrows that point to what I need to look at, whose effects are immediate and effective. The intro puzzle is definitely very user friendly until you look at the stuck gate, whereupon the true puzzle awaits. Using seamless animation, the puzzle appears where it shows four crescents with colored orbs in their centers. At the bottom are directions on how to move the crescents and how to change what crescent you have selected. It’s smooth, colorful and convenient. Not all puzzles need to be like this for your game; it’s true, but Mr. Reives has simply outdone himself with this puzzle. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so intricately made for such a simple challenge. At this point, I fell head-over-heels in love with this game. The lack of backstory is definitely stifling, but So far, the only thing that’s keeping me down is the facemaker graphics, which, although they fit in quite well, are too overused and cheesy for me appreciate.
I finish the puzzle in under a minute, and continue with the story. I was expecting the next challenge to be a small battle or another intricately done puzzle, but
I guess that by now I should have figured Quinie was going to keep surpassing my expectations. The challenge was a puzzle, but by the likes of which simply made me gawk in awe. The difficulty curve just went from the level of playing hangman blindfolded with the word four letters long to being asked to solve a Sudoku puzzle. It was definitely a big jump, but by the likes of which are very doable. The idea was to use a bunch of floating rocks to hop to one side of the room to another. A simple concept, but also that there were two switches that had to be turned on and off in order to cross larger gaps. This was done using the other shape shifting character, Naira (I hope I spelled that right…) to transform into a raven and go from one switch to another and turn each one every time the situation called. Like the previous puzzle, the directions were also given once the controls were too become complicated, and it left the player to fend for themselves. It was complicated, but it wasn’t the hardest puzzle I’ve ever been faced with (Professor Layton, anyone?) It gave me the directions when they became crucial to the challenges completion, and didn’t interfere until the completion of the puzzle had been achieved. The controls are a little awkward, but are otherwise generally understandable and it really won’t take you long to get used to them.
    Now the intro and the first puzzle proved to be a healthy five minutes long, but by the time I was finished with this challenge, I had reached my fifteen minute mark. So here I am, wanting to give less praise and more criticism for Quintessence, but I just can’t think of any. Honest! It so far seems to be an impossible task, the likes of which are leaving me feeling ashamed for leaving you without a good game-bashing (or at least are leaving me feeling ashamed for actually liking this game so damn much). So, without further ado, here are ten additional lines of what is wrong with Quintessence.
What the fuck is up with the name?
Facemaker graphics are a no-no.
Why is everybody so obsessed with animated titlescreens? Jesus Christ.
New Game. Continue. End Game. Was that too hard?
Where the hell is the menu?
RTP graphics are way overused in the intro.
Really, what the fuck is up with the white tiger spritesheet?
So many bugs.
Definitely not for beginners.
Quintessence rhymes with Cuntessence.
Otherwise, this is one of the better games Ive played in a long while, and definitely something to stave me off until Master of the Wind Arc VI comes out.
Pro: Super user friendly, story must be enormous, graphics are very pretty
Con: Very long download time, Everything else mentioned above
Best: “Rated T for Teen by RMXP.orgâ€
Neverplayd
Member
Might want to fix that. Good review though, although the reason behind the name gets explained a few hours into the game. (I'm doing Reives' dirty work for him :S)Coprophiliac":3krk8zli said:
Many thanks for the 15-min review Copro, and thank you for your time. :smile:
If anything, I am very glad that the preview revamp in light of the well-understood "lack of game-play" criticisms seems to be on the right track.
At this point I am aware that positive feedback on the project may possibly strike some minor chords on some's nerves. But I would like to say that this 15-minutes review is a review on contents that were made/fleshed out, again, in honor of the criticisms I have received; that of which I have taken actual action beyond mere words to fix up a physical representation of my acknowledgment.
Chapter 1 is now pretty much fairly final as far as its structure goes. Other chapters are still subjected to potential revamps in the future, in timely steps that tend to not hinder the progress of the project's linear path toward completion in its non-linear style of construction.
At the actual review again - I have certainly read through it thoroughly, am flattered, and much appreciate your time in writing it. :smile: Things like the white tiger sprite sheet and the like have been taken notes of. The Rated T thing is there because I am just that cool of a poser, and someone's going to be fired for not alerting me of "quintessence"'s resemblance with the word "cuntessence" - where were you when the name was first made?
Not much more I can say about it as the project's maker, heheh. So anyhow, again, thanks for your time, it is certainly much appreciated.
If anything, I am very glad that the preview revamp in light of the well-understood "lack of game-play" criticisms seems to be on the right track.
At this point I am aware that positive feedback on the project may possibly strike some minor chords on some's nerves. But I would like to say that this 15-minutes review is a review on contents that were made/fleshed out, again, in honor of the criticisms I have received; that of which I have taken actual action beyond mere words to fix up a physical representation of my acknowledgment.
Chapter 1 is now pretty much fairly final as far as its structure goes. Other chapters are still subjected to potential revamps in the future, in timely steps that tend to not hinder the progress of the project's linear path toward completion in its non-linear style of construction.
At the actual review again - I have certainly read through it thoroughly, am flattered, and much appreciate your time in writing it. :smile: Things like the white tiger sprite sheet and the like have been taken notes of. The Rated T thing is there because I am just that cool of a poser, and someone's going to be fired for not alerting me of "quintessence"'s resemblance with the word "cuntessence" - where were you when the name was first made?
Not much more I can say about it as the project's maker, heheh. So anyhow, again, thanks for your time, it is certainly much appreciated.
lol, the cuntessence is a joke on my name.
My old name used to be Untravaersil. At one point, Venetia called me Unty and Wyatt changed it to Cunty. For a whle I was known as FAGGOT and at one point recognized as Cuntravaersil. I figured it'd be a good joke for anyone who knew the story behind it. :-P Now I'm known solely as Unty but occasionally called Cunty. Hence, why the threads name is reviewed by a cunt.
My old name used to be Untravaersil. At one point, Venetia called me Unty and Wyatt changed it to Cunty. For a whle I was known as FAGGOT and at one point recognized as Cuntravaersil. I figured it'd be a good joke for anyone who knew the story behind it. :-P Now I'm known solely as Unty but occasionally called Cunty. Hence, why the threads name is reviewed by a cunt.
Ludichris1
Member
Coprophiliac said:
Sorry I’ve been gone recently. I’ve been lacking internet for the most part of the past few weeks, and its only now come back fully. Seeing as the only things I could work on due to lack of interwebs were Sammael and another review. So hey, why not both? Thankfully the only other game file I had saved was a copy of Hima’s U.S.G. Project, and seeing as I’m rather limited on resources, Its what I chose to review. So, without further ado, I present a full review (Not just 15 minutes) of U.S.G. ~A New Beginning~.
U.S.G. A New Beginning
Reviewed by Untra
I remembered I originally downloaded this game because I wanted to try and review it. It was only after I started the review that I saw that the game was originally posted four or so months ago, and I left it alone looking for a more recent game to review. In those four months the game folder was simply left untouched until just before the trip where it became a hiding spot for my more Risqué images (Although at the moment my more Risqué images consist of a naked Kerry Byron from Mythbusters and PPG porn comics). I never really bothered to play the game until my internet went down, where I rediscovered the game after going for my weak porn stash.
Not surprisingly, there’s another animated title screen to be had here, but not before a GP Touch Splash Screen. I must admit that at this point, the game looks pretty legit. The text looks absolutely fantastic (although I’m not too partial on the use of the default font), and the presentation between plays looks absolutely fantastic.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... /magic.png[/img]
The Default Font is called “Tahoma†in case you were really wondering.
Apparently you play as the funky brown haired guy, but it wasn’t until a bit later did I learn this game is a fucking shoot-em-up, and of the best variety Ive seen. I really can’t explain how fucking beautiful the gameplay and action is. At times I broke into a sweat just trying to concentrate on getting a few more hits on a boss without getting hit, only to find that doing just so is entirely futile. In later parts of the game I was relying entirely on the brief few seconds of invulnerability granted whenever you die or get hurt.
I’m trying to convey just how crazy the game can get at times, so let me use an example; Ikaruga. If you’ve ever played that game, you’d know just how crazy and beautiful everything is, almost as if the enemies bullets are putting on a show for you on screen with their dazzling colors and fleight patterns just before they give you a gameover. It’s really desperately amazing, and I can’t even imagine how much work Hima must have put into this.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... l/gump.png[/img]
I just killed six enemy flies that when killed shoot bullets that can disable my guns. USG is a real treat for the eyes.
The beauty of this shmup is the additional mechanic of experience. EXP is given whenever an enemy is killed, and whenever you level up you get a few points that allow you to purchase more health or better weapons. But the catch is that you can receive additional EXP from every bullet the enemy has out when you kill that enemy. The result is you get a better score and you can upgrade faster by letting more enemies shoot at you before you kill them. Additionally, some attacks can “Down†enemies, temporarily stalling them for a few seconds. While stalling enemies may useful in terms of getting to harder enemies while they have fewer bullets flying at you, it eliminates the EXP bonus they might give because their bullets would have already flown off the screen.
Additionally, there are five types of weapons in the game that you can use against enemies. They range from Fire, Ice, Thunder, Wind and Normal. You can only have two weapons at a time, and upgrading the weapons to the fullest seems to be necessary to beat the game. The balance of leveling up, or even the special moves, seems to be lacking. Shmups tend to work better without the inclusion of RPG elements. Hima took a brave shot, and things look really well done. Despite some balance issues (If you’ve never tried grinding for levels on a shmup, consider yourself lucky), The gameplay aspect of U.S.G. is truly well done.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... beeper.png[/img]
One of the bosses in the game. The enemy charges a ribbon of bullets that shoot out in a strong curve. Avoiding this attack is harder then you’d imagine.
The main story revolves around a series of pilots such as Kyte and their navigators. A Navigator and a pilot work together to do various missions. The main hook of the storyline is that whenever a fighter dies in a mission, so does the navigator. Additionally, an intercom keeps speaking of a “Truth†that all the pilots are working towards.
In all, the storyline is okay, and not really the strong point of the game. About halfway through the game however, the games main acronym is given a definition that made me just simply drop my jaw in confusion. Apparently, U.S.G. stands for, and I kid you not, Ultimate Sperm Generator. I cannot begin to describe just how bad of an acronym that is, or just why the rest of the games title is “A New Beginningâ€, but apparently all the characters are individual sperm, The pilots are the Y chromosome, the navigators are the X chromosome, and they’re all in a virtual reality test to become a baby for a loving mom and dad. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... titled.png[/img]
Here’s a acronym for you: WTF?
So maybe U.S.G. doesn’t have the best story ever, so what? USG is one of those games where you have to ask yourself, “Holy shit, someone made that in RPG Maker?†And hey, I won’t lie; having the last boss of the game be a giant egg located in the ovaries of your future mom... That’s just fucked up enough to be original. Give U.S.G. a try, and I can promise you it will definitely be engrossing enough to keep you busy.
But jesus fucking christ you will never hear a worse storyline then that.
Pro: Gameplay feels like injecting your eyes with pure uncut happy
Con: Oh god the storyline…
Usg: omg wtf lol bbq
Reviewed by Untra
I remembered I originally downloaded this game because I wanted to try and review it. It was only after I started the review that I saw that the game was originally posted four or so months ago, and I left it alone looking for a more recent game to review. In those four months the game folder was simply left untouched until just before the trip where it became a hiding spot for my more Risqué images (Although at the moment my more Risqué images consist of a naked Kerry Byron from Mythbusters and PPG porn comics). I never really bothered to play the game until my internet went down, where I rediscovered the game after going for my weak porn stash.
Not surprisingly, there’s another animated title screen to be had here, but not before a GP Touch Splash Screen. I must admit that at this point, the game looks pretty legit. The text looks absolutely fantastic (although I’m not too partial on the use of the default font), and the presentation between plays looks absolutely fantastic.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... /magic.png[/img]
The Default Font is called “Tahoma†in case you were really wondering.
Apparently you play as the funky brown haired guy, but it wasn’t until a bit later did I learn this game is a fucking shoot-em-up, and of the best variety Ive seen. I really can’t explain how fucking beautiful the gameplay and action is. At times I broke into a sweat just trying to concentrate on getting a few more hits on a boss without getting hit, only to find that doing just so is entirely futile. In later parts of the game I was relying entirely on the brief few seconds of invulnerability granted whenever you die or get hurt.
I’m trying to convey just how crazy the game can get at times, so let me use an example; Ikaruga. If you’ve ever played that game, you’d know just how crazy and beautiful everything is, almost as if the enemies bullets are putting on a show for you on screen with their dazzling colors and fleight patterns just before they give you a gameover. It’s really desperately amazing, and I can’t even imagine how much work Hima must have put into this.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... l/gump.png[/img]
I just killed six enemy flies that when killed shoot bullets that can disable my guns. USG is a real treat for the eyes.
The beauty of this shmup is the additional mechanic of experience. EXP is given whenever an enemy is killed, and whenever you level up you get a few points that allow you to purchase more health or better weapons. But the catch is that you can receive additional EXP from every bullet the enemy has out when you kill that enemy. The result is you get a better score and you can upgrade faster by letting more enemies shoot at you before you kill them. Additionally, some attacks can “Down†enemies, temporarily stalling them for a few seconds. While stalling enemies may useful in terms of getting to harder enemies while they have fewer bullets flying at you, it eliminates the EXP bonus they might give because their bullets would have already flown off the screen.
Additionally, there are five types of weapons in the game that you can use against enemies. They range from Fire, Ice, Thunder, Wind and Normal. You can only have two weapons at a time, and upgrading the weapons to the fullest seems to be necessary to beat the game. The balance of leveling up, or even the special moves, seems to be lacking. Shmups tend to work better without the inclusion of RPG elements. Hima took a brave shot, and things look really well done. Despite some balance issues (If you’ve never tried grinding for levels on a shmup, consider yourself lucky), The gameplay aspect of U.S.G. is truly well done.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... beeper.png[/img]
One of the bosses in the game. The enemy charges a ribbon of bullets that shoot out in a strong curve. Avoiding this attack is harder then you’d imagine.
The main story revolves around a series of pilots such as Kyte and their navigators. A Navigator and a pilot work together to do various missions. The main hook of the storyline is that whenever a fighter dies in a mission, so does the navigator. Additionally, an intercom keeps speaking of a “Truth†that all the pilots are working towards.
In all, the storyline is okay, and not really the strong point of the game. About halfway through the game however, the games main acronym is given a definition that made me just simply drop my jaw in confusion. Apparently, U.S.G. stands for, and I kid you not, Ultimate Sperm Generator. I cannot begin to describe just how bad of an acronym that is, or just why the rest of the games title is “A New Beginningâ€, but apparently all the characters are individual sperm, The pilots are the Y chromosome, the navigators are the X chromosome, and they’re all in a virtual reality test to become a baby for a loving mom and dad. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q98/ ... titled.png[/img]
Here’s a acronym for you: WTF?
So maybe U.S.G. doesn’t have the best story ever, so what? USG is one of those games where you have to ask yourself, “Holy shit, someone made that in RPG Maker?†And hey, I won’t lie; having the last boss of the game be a giant egg located in the ovaries of your future mom... That’s just fucked up enough to be original. Give U.S.G. a try, and I can promise you it will definitely be engrossing enough to keep you busy.
But jesus fucking christ you will never hear a worse storyline then that.
Pro: Gameplay feels like injecting your eyes with pure uncut happy
Con: Oh god the storyline…
Usg: omg wtf lol bbq
Wow, I had no idea that that's what this game is about. I played like 2 seconds and got bored. If the project thread actually posted the story I would have been more interested. Unless it was some secret that you didn't find out until the end. I seriously over looked this game.
People should just post reviews of their project in their main topic from now on. Or write them like reviews in the first place.
People should just post reviews of their project in their main topic from now on. Or write them like reviews in the first place.
Sandwhich Quest by Teloch
I've always been a fan of Text Adventures. In fact, thats one of the games I'd like to make; a text adventure where you sell drugs. Based off of Showtimes Weeds. Yeah... hmmm... what? Oh yeah, Sandwich Quest! Its by Teloch and its like trying to solve a retarded riddle using words. Rather then explain what the game plays like, I'm going to show you what I said to beat it.
I've always been a fan of Text Adventures. In fact, thats one of the games I'd like to make; a text adventure where you sell drugs. Based off of Showtimes Weeds. Yeah... hmmm... what? Oh yeah, Sandwich Quest! Its by Teloch and its like trying to solve a retarded riddle using words. Rather then explain what the game plays like, I'm going to show you what I said to beat it.
sandwhich quest
An interactive fiction by Teloch
rickety bridge
you are near a shitty old bridge that stretches across a STEAMING CHASM. the bridge leads north. south of you you can faintly see the smoke from a chimney.
a troll stands just by the bridge. he's tall and has a REALLY fucking big club. he seems kindof hungry.
>Feed the troll
I don't suppose the troll would care for that.
>Fuck the troll
I only understand you as far as wanting to fuck.
>Fuck Teloch
I only understand you as far as wanting to fuck.
>North
the troll blocks your passage.
>ask the troll
The troll has better things to do.
>fuck
Real Adventurers do not use such language.
>fight the troll
the troll shrugs off your blow, yawns and wanders away to the south.
>north
***you won somehow. cool!!***
In that game you scored a 0 out of a possible 0, in 2 turns.
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
>Quit
An interactive fiction by Teloch
rickety bridge
you are near a shitty old bridge that stretches across a STEAMING CHASM. the bridge leads north. south of you you can faintly see the smoke from a chimney.
a troll stands just by the bridge. he's tall and has a REALLY fucking big club. he seems kindof hungry.
>Feed the troll
I don't suppose the troll would care for that.
>Fuck the troll
I only understand you as far as wanting to fuck.
>Fuck Teloch
I only understand you as far as wanting to fuck.
>North
the troll blocks your passage.
>ask the troll
The troll has better things to do.
>fuck
Real Adventurers do not use such language.
>fight the troll
the troll shrugs off your blow, yawns and wanders away to the south.
>north
***you won somehow. cool!!***
In that game you scored a 0 out of a possible 0, in 2 turns.
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
>Quit
Thank you so much for your honest review of USG 
I have nothing to say about the storyline haha. I know it's ridiculous but for some reason I like it and it's the first thing that hit my mind when I heard the theme "A New Beginning". I'm aware that the backcronym seems forced though, since I really want to use the letters USG
and the reason is...
As for the balance, I think I've tried my best within the amount of time given. I've tried the low level run without grinding too so it's possible to beat the game without having to max everything out (Of course, unless you're fighting the secret boss, which pretty much require you to have all the weapon at max level to survive its attack.) But I'm sure the balance I have right now is not perfect and it could be improve.
Is it the upgrade rate that is the same for all the stats that make it seems unbalance to you? Just want to hear from you since I got this comment once so I'll know if it's the same issue or an entirely different one. I also hope the grinding isn't so boring like in most rpg. That's one of the reasons I put different difficulty there also.
All in all, that was a good read! I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the game and thank you for playing!
I have nothing to say about the storyline haha. I know it's ridiculous but for some reason I like it and it's the first thing that hit my mind when I heard the theme "A New Beginning". I'm aware that the backcronym seems forced though, since I really want to use the letters USGand the reason is...
Because when you read it as two syllables, Us -Jee, it means 'sperms' in Thai (my language). Yeah, I like bad hidden jokes XD
As for the balance, I think I've tried my best within the amount of time given. I've tried the low level run without grinding too so it's possible to beat the game without having to max everything out (Of course, unless you're fighting the secret boss, which pretty much require you to have all the weapon at max level to survive its attack.) But I'm sure the balance I have right now is not perfect and it could be improve.
Is it the upgrade rate that is the same for all the stats that make it seems unbalance to you? Just want to hear from you since I got this comment once so I'll know if it's the same issue or an entirely different one. I also hope the grinding isn't so boring like in most rpg. That's one of the reasons I put different difficulty there also.
All in all, that was a good read! I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the game and thank you for playing!
I Love Valve.
Maybe I'll start doing some reviews again. Any commissions?
I really do. Valve makes their games by finding the best programmers, artists and animators, give them a task, and then stand back and watch. Nothing is limited, and the result is always a beautiful game. Their Steam service can be a little buggy, but other then that the way valve treats their franchises is always at the extent of trying to make something as beautiful as they can. So here we are today with Left 4 Dead, the latest piece of artistry by Valve, featuring zombies in lieu of the combine and with character makeup done by the tf2 team (really, if you own Left 4 Dead, watch the intro sequence and look at the characters faces. That's a total tf2 influence). The game is awesome, and themed around 80s/90s zombie flicks, which is also awesome.
The game is not perfect, and neither is valve. But Dammit the effort they put into their games is enough to show that they care about the work they do. Additionally, the tf2 blog has announced that the development of their next class pack for the scout, after giving class packs to the Medic, Pyro and Heavy. I really don't know what else to say; Valve honors their games. They release regular updates for them- they improve them, they have entire teams working to make them better. This is how game companies should operate.
Truth be told, I think Valve has the right idea. They've found a niche in the market, filled it, and expanded on it. They make their games accessible through their Steam service, which is also used to sell any indie games and games made by smaller companies. To the average PC gamer, valve is a godsend. To the average hardcore PC gamer, valve is God.
So then... What does this have to do with RPG Maker?
Nothing whatsoever. There is no point. I'm just trying to kiss the ass of valve because right now, The Spy is suddenly easier to play, the engineer is easier to play, and I have been fully reminded that the best defense against a zombie invasion is a shotgun and pipe bombs. I love you, Valve.
The game is not perfect, and neither is valve. But Dammit the effort they put into their games is enough to show that they care about the work they do. Additionally, the tf2 blog has announced that the development of their next class pack for the scout, after giving class packs to the Medic, Pyro and Heavy. I really don't know what else to say; Valve honors their games. They release regular updates for them- they improve them, they have entire teams working to make them better. This is how game companies should operate.
Truth be told, I think Valve has the right idea. They've found a niche in the market, filled it, and expanded on it. They make their games accessible through their Steam service, which is also used to sell any indie games and games made by smaller companies. To the average PC gamer, valve is a godsend. To the average hardcore PC gamer, valve is God.
So then... What does this have to do with RPG Maker?
Nothing whatsoever. There is no point. I'm just trying to kiss the ass of valve because right now, The Spy is suddenly easier to play, the engineer is easier to play, and I have been fully reminded that the best defense against a zombie invasion is a shotgun and pipe bombs. I love you, Valve.
Maybe I'll start doing some reviews again. Any commissions?