Dreamland
- Thread starter Dreamland
- Start date
koopa-on-fire
Member
If the mapping of the hospital hasn't changed, wouldn't you be able to go into the game folder and copy the save file? Just a guess.Fuff24":j688hbji said:
Terrific. I'ma give this a play-through later. Can't wait to see the improvements. I'm hoping you read some of the many tutorials(mapping, writing, etc..).
I believe there's a script for scrolling credits, out there. I mean, if it's that big of a pain.
Dreamland":t20rtkia said:
I believe there's a script for scrolling credits, out there. I mean, if it's that big of a pain.
rjphillips
Member
Hey Dreamland, I'm downloading this now and will respond back when I get a chance to play through it... Looks good!
;_; ...As much as I'd like say how nice your demo is, I just don't want to lie.
I'm afraid that this game isn't anything special, at all. In fact, it's pretty bad. Now, don't take offense to this, I'm just trying to give you some honest critique, so that you can improve your skills, and by extension, your game. So please, just take this to heart, and improve accordingly.
I'm sorry to see that, even after people have asked you, you haven't employed the use of switches. Using switches would be much, much, much more efficient than several maps for the same area. If you're confused by how switches work, then browse around the tutorial section, and look for a tutorial on how to use switches. It will benefit you immensely. Seriously.
Your mapping could certainly use a lot of work. Again, look through the tutorial section. This time, for mapping tutorials. There are plenty of 'em, and they'll help you a lot. The mapping academy would be a big help, too. Right now, the mapping is bare, a little on the ugly side, and the exits are anything, but obvious.
While writing(and rewriting.) your dialogue, I suggest keeping your internet browser open, with some tabs for wikitionary.org, and thesaurus.com. Those'll help with your spelling, and grammar problems. Surprisingly, though, you have a lot less grammar errors than a lot of other demos, from people older than you, that I've played. Bravo on that.
I have already told you that your story is quite interesting. Which it is. It interests me much more than a lot of other early projects around here. And it is saying a lot, as apparently, I am difficult to please.
Now, the only gripe I have with your story, is that Elvander is a bit too hasty in her decision to join the magic school. I mean, has she totally forgotten what happened to her village, and her family(which actually doesn't sound like that bad of a plot point.)? I'd suggest fixing that up. Elvander loves her family, and her neighbors, and such, right? If so, then wouldn't she be more worried about them, after something like that? Perhaps, something like: John tells her that the headmaster of the school might know something about what happened to her village, but the only way she can see him, is by enrolling there. Now, this is just an example, but feel free to use it, if you see it fit.
A couple of other things: In your dialogues, you tend to use a lot of exclamation points, and question marks, "Such as this?!?!!!?!?", which, I feel is something that younger children do(I remember doing so, when I was younger.), but it can be a tad irksome. As a general rule of thumb, three punctuation marks is enough. i.e. "?!? !! ?! !?! ??", and so on, and so forth.
Also, I was unable to defeat the... admissions... guy? Anyway, I couldn't beat the man that you have to fight in order to join the academy. He hit me for 94 damage, and killed me in one hit. Then, I was just transported back to the same map, but I was still K.O'd, and I could fight him again, but since I was dead, the fight ended immediately. Could you fix this somehow?
Now, please, I repeat, don't take this as a personal attack. I'm simply trying to help you, as best I can.
Also, I'd like a detailed reply, if you would. It'd make me believe that you really do want to improve.
Keep up the nice work.
I'm afraid that this game isn't anything special, at all. In fact, it's pretty bad. Now, don't take offense to this, I'm just trying to give you some honest critique, so that you can improve your skills, and by extension, your game. So please, just take this to heart, and improve accordingly.
I'm sorry to see that, even after people have asked you, you haven't employed the use of switches. Using switches would be much, much, much more efficient than several maps for the same area. If you're confused by how switches work, then browse around the tutorial section, and look for a tutorial on how to use switches. It will benefit you immensely. Seriously.
Your mapping could certainly use a lot of work. Again, look through the tutorial section. This time, for mapping tutorials. There are plenty of 'em, and they'll help you a lot. The mapping academy would be a big help, too. Right now, the mapping is bare, a little on the ugly side, and the exits are anything, but obvious.
While writing(and rewriting.) your dialogue, I suggest keeping your internet browser open, with some tabs for wikitionary.org, and thesaurus.com. Those'll help with your spelling, and grammar problems. Surprisingly, though, you have a lot less grammar errors than a lot of other demos, from people older than you, that I've played. Bravo on that.
I have already told you that your story is quite interesting. Which it is. It interests me much more than a lot of other early projects around here. And it is saying a lot, as apparently, I am difficult to please.
Now, the only gripe I have with your story, is that Elvander is a bit too hasty in her decision to join the magic school. I mean, has she totally forgotten what happened to her village, and her family(which actually doesn't sound like that bad of a plot point.)? I'd suggest fixing that up. Elvander loves her family, and her neighbors, and such, right? If so, then wouldn't she be more worried about them, after something like that? Perhaps, something like: John tells her that the headmaster of the school might know something about what happened to her village, but the only way she can see him, is by enrolling there. Now, this is just an example, but feel free to use it, if you see it fit.
A couple of other things: In your dialogues, you tend to use a lot of exclamation points, and question marks, "Such as this?!?!!!?!?", which, I feel is something that younger children do(I remember doing so, when I was younger.), but it can be a tad irksome. As a general rule of thumb, three punctuation marks is enough. i.e. "?!? !! ?! !?! ??", and so on, and so forth.
Also, I was unable to defeat the... admissions... guy? Anyway, I couldn't beat the man that you have to fight in order to join the academy. He hit me for 94 damage, and killed me in one hit. Then, I was just transported back to the same map, but I was still K.O'd, and I could fight him again, but since I was dead, the fight ended immediately. Could you fix this somehow?
Now, please, I repeat, don't take this as a personal attack. I'm simply trying to help you, as best I can.
Also, I'd like a detailed reply, if you would. It'd make me believe that you really do want to improve.
Keep up the nice work.
um, The reason that the part inside the school doesn't have any switches, is because I made that part before I put out the first demo. I just wanted to make the demo short, so I didn't include that part. Thats why it doesn't have any switches. The new part that is after that uses switches, but thats because the part with switches was done after you told me about switches.
My dad and I are going to go over the spelling, so I hope that will be fixed. The part when you fight the master of the school, if you lose, I will make it so you won't just die if you fight him again. I also will make Elvander more unsure about joining the school and stuff like that.
I hope you liked the into? :-[
My dad and I are going to go over the spelling, so I hope that will be fixed. The part when you fight the master of the school, if you lose, I will make it so you won't just die if you fight him again. I also will make Elvander more unsure about joining the school and stuff like that.
I hope you liked the into? :-[
Dreamland":2xfsmwtc said:
Ah, yes, yes. I forgot about the new intro. It's a big improvement over the original, and it's fairly well-done. Although, it was a tad confusing, trying to figure out who was talking. The map was pretty good, too.
Now, I suggest that before you put out yet another demo, that you try to replace all of the little shortcuts(like as the multiple maps, and such.), with switches. Also, you should make use of switches in other events, such as the treasure chest in the forest. Trust me, switches are pretty easy to learn how to use, and once you get the hang of 'em, they make everything much easier.
I hope that you will look into the mapping tutorials that I told you about. Proper mapping will make Dreamland that much better. ^_^
Pokémaniac
Awesome Bro
=O Really? Seriously, I couldn't tell.Luminier":n6avjhhk said:
Uhh, why is it all my attacks do nothing to the addmisions guy? And I can't use magic, and he can't either? And, that guys playing hide and seek... please stop him from jumping. My head's starting to hurt. >.<
Wow... that IS cruel:
http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/198/11209832ds0.png[/img]
What parents would lock their kids in a pen like that? Lol. Just joking.
I must say, your mapping is AMAZING for someone your age. I congratulate you in that respect, and don't listen to the others about having a "cliche" storyline. As long as you enjoy making it, and others enjoy playing it. That's what really matters. Some of the members on this forum have forgot that...
A very well done. If you ever need a hand with anything, you can PM me. I'm good with graphics, if you need any done. I'd be more than obliging.
http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/198/11209832ds0.png[/img]
What parents would lock their kids in a pen like that? Lol. Just joking.
I must say, your mapping is AMAZING for someone your age. I congratulate you in that respect, and don't listen to the others about having a "cliche" storyline. As long as you enjoy making it, and others enjoy playing it. That's what really matters. Some of the members on this forum have forgot that...
A very well done. If you ever need a hand with anything, you can PM me. I'm good with graphics, if you need any done. I'd be more than obliging.
Well, what he meant to say, was that your first post still has the code for attachments in it. Generally, the first post in a project thread should contain all of the essential information for the game. This includes updates.
I would suggest using the handy "modify" button to fix up that original post. You should include a more detailed synopsis of your story. A brief summary of the intro of your game, as well as a short section on premise, will suffice.
Add a better list of characters. Just add some more info, such as personality, backstory, etc..
A list of features, as well. Meaning, the things that set your game apart from just a RTP game with a generic, stock story.
Screenshots would be nice, too. All you have to do, is take a screenshot, and then upload it to this site: CLICK ME! Copy the image code, and paste it into the post. Simple as that.
It would be a good idea to use spoilers in the post, as well. Simply click the little "S" button above the text-box-thingy, and put whatever you want inside the brackets. [These are brackets "[]"!] Then it'll look like this:
I would suggest using the handy "modify" button to fix up that original post. You should include a more detailed synopsis of your story. A brief summary of the intro of your game, as well as a short section on premise, will suffice.
Add a better list of characters. Just add some more info, such as personality, backstory, etc..
A list of features, as well. Meaning, the things that set your game apart from just a RTP game with a generic, stock story.
Screenshots would be nice, too. All you have to do, is take a screenshot, and then upload it to this site: CLICK ME! Copy the image code, and paste it into the post. Simple as that.
It would be a good idea to use spoilers in the post, as well. Simply click the little "S" button above the text-box-thingy, and put whatever you want inside the brackets. [These are brackets "[]"!] Then it'll look like this:
You can also change the text in the spoiler button by making it like so "
Oh, and make sure to include a link to your demo(s) in the first post.
Doing this, and tidying up your first post will undoubtedly make more people want to play your game! Good luck!
".
Oh, and make sure to include a link to your demo(s) in the first post.
Doing this, and tidying up your first post will undoubtedly make more people want to play your game! Good luck!
Erichermit
Member
You seem very mature for a 10 year old =). This game sounds pretty good, good luck on it! Don't forget to make a list of people to credit, and keep it in a safe place. If you lose it it can be difficult to re-locate all the artists again.
Remaking a game almost always results in making it better. The first maps on my game, Enex2, looked horrendous. So I went back and remade all the early maps and revised a lot of stuff.
Then I had to repeat the same again, sometimes even another time!
Every time you go back and remake something, you'll be surprised to see just how much of your skill has improved. It's not necessary for you to completely start a brand new project of coruse, but it is a way to completely ensure that everything is brought up to your current skill level.
Give us some screenshots of your new one? =)
Remaking a game almost always results in making it better. The first maps on my game, Enex2, looked horrendous. So I went back and remade all the early maps and revised a lot of stuff.
Then I had to repeat the same again, sometimes even another time!
Every time you go back and remake something, you'll be surprised to see just how much of your skill has improved. It's not necessary for you to completely start a brand new project of coruse, but it is a way to completely ensure that everything is brought up to your current skill level.
Give us some screenshots of your new one? =)
i couldn't see any pictures in the first post. Maybe you could give some screenshots of the new version? Although the story has some minor cliches but it's still intresting. It's good to see that a young person like yourself is able to make a game with this quality. Keep up the good work and have fune while doing so