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Dead Content 1st Demo of my 1st Game (The Lost Glory: The Other World)

Dead content awaiting restoration.
hello all,

I'm posting this very small demo to see if my game is good to be completed or not (its so smal demo)

..::Story::..



The Lost Glory: The Other World
One day a boy called Jack went camping with his best and only friend Tom. Near a river. "Let's go fishing" Jack said. "Good idea" Said Tom. Jack caught two fishes for dinner. After the dinner they went to wash their hands in the river. Suddenly a bright light came with two balls. One of them was dark and the other was bright. Jack was scared as if he saw a ghost, but Tom was scared like a little baby, even he dabbled his pants. Tom and Jack ran away for seconds but jack stopped and shouted "NO WAIT we have to discover what that is". "But…" said Tom."Come on lets go back to see what that thing is" Said Jack. In the way back to the river Tom and Jack felt a strange power surrounding there body's. They arrived to the river the two balls were still there. Jack touched the dark ball and pressed it against his fingers and Tom touched the bright ball. They felt unconscious for a day. They didn’t know what to do.
"We don’t have to say anything to anyone about this ok? People won't believe us" Said Jack. "Ok but I can't remember anything" Said Tom. Jack didn’t want to scared tom but he had to say it. "I think it's kind of mysterious power". In whispering sound "we… have to go home now". "Good idea lets go" Said Jack. A day later. Jack noticed a lot of change in his behavior he don’t like to talk much and don’t like sit with peoples. Tom noticed that his parents didn’t like him anymore. They went to school in the morning the student saw them bad guys. "We will stay friends what ever happen right?" Said Jack To Tom. After a short time "y…ye…yes" Said Tom.  Jack look at Tom in a strange way. "WHAT?" Said Tom. A little fight had between them and they didn’t talk to each other for nearly a week. They fought each other in the park but… it wasn’t like the fight they had in school. They punched each other hardly. Jack started bleeding. Suddenly Jack said strange words with a dark ball in his hand. He attacked tom with it suddenly Tom blocked Jack's attack by using a huge bright shield a little explosion took place. People in the park were scared and they ran away. Jack and Tom looks like they were very tired. They been unconscious, the police arrived and they didn’t see what happen on because Jack and Tom suddenly disappeared. Next day the police found them in their home. The police watched Jack and Tom for 3 months. After three months people forget what happened and the police no longer see Tom and Jack. Both of them didn’t see each other after the event, even in the school because the school principle fired them after the event. Jack went to buy some items in the mall. While he is shopping his eyes met Tomes eyes Jack closed his eyes for a moment "Oh my God where did he go" Said Jack. Jack took a punch from Tom and said in a strange tone "why u attacked me 3 months ago?" Tom got no answer from Jack. Tom started to repeat these words. Jack started to get angry. After a moment Jack said the same strange words. Jack's eyes become black and his muscles appeared on his body even a black light appeared near his body. Tom said that strange words too his eyes changed bright yellow and his muscles appeared on his body even a brighter light appeared near his body. They locked at each other for a moment. People already ran away. Tom and Jack stayed alone in the mall. Jack attacked Tom with a black laser from his eyes. Tom used that shield again. Tom responded to jack's attack by using a huge bright light which he carried with two hands. He threw the ball on jack. A huge explosion took place destroying the mall. Nothing happened to Tom. Suddenly tom say jack walking through the smoke. Tom got angry seeing jack alive. The police have arrived. A detective called Leon was so interested in the event three months ago and he got more interested in the mall event. He was in charge of the case. A day later Leon knocked on jacks door "who is there?" said Jack. "I'm Leon a detective from police department" said Leon. Jack got nervous. "Wait a moment" said Jack. Jack opened the door." Hello Jack, we will stay out all the time?!!" said Leon. They sat on a couch "h…how can I help you sir" said Jack. "Can you describe what happened in the mall?" said Leon. Jack told Leon what happened in the mall. "Why these things happened to you?" asked Leon. "it was that day on the river three months a...ago" said Jack. "Huh?!" said Leon.  "Nothing" said Jack. "Look jack I'm here to help you to arrest you" said Leon. "Ah...ok" said Jack. Jack told Leon what happened near the river even the smallest details. Leon was surprised about what happened. "Ok jack thanks a lot keep in touch "said Leon. After visiting Jack, Leon went to tom's house and knocked the door. Leon doesn't want to make it long so he asked right away "can u explain what happened in the mall?" .Tom said the same thing. Leon went to his office and trying to find and connection between these facts. But he couldn't. A day later Tom and Jack received a massage from Leon it says "come to my office ".Jack Arrived to Leon's office."What do u want sir?" asked Jack. "You will know but u got to wait tom first" said Leon. Jack got angry and his eyes started to get blacker. "Ohm take it easy, we are waiting to solve the problem with tom" said Leon. Jack accepts the fact and returned to normal. Tom knocked Leon's office door. "Come in". said Leon. Tom saw jack sitting in the office he got angry and started to cast a spell. Jack tried to know what kind of spell tom will use.
"Leon I think Tom doesn't want end it like this LEAVE NOW!" said Jack. "But…" said Leon."I SAID LEAVE" said Jack. "Ha-ha I will end it in my special way" said Tom. After a very short time a huge red light appeared in the office. It was a huge monster. "Ohh!! Ifrit?! It can't be" said Jack. Ifrit started to attack Jack. Jack dodged the attack. Jack didn’t want to destroy the police department so he draws Ifrit in a field out the town. Jack started to attack Ifrit, but Ifrit kept blocking his attacks. Jack raised his hands to the sky with a dark light, the sky started to get blacker and darker. Huge meteors fell on Ifrit from the sky. Ifrit tried to dodge them. He was almost to success but he couldn't dodge all of them. Two of the meteors fell on Ifrit. A black smoke came out, after a few moment of silence, jack saw Ifrit walking with one leg with his ugly body covered with blood. Jack tried to take the chance to kill Ifrit but Ifrit still have the power to block jack attacks. Jack cast a low class of ice spell; Ifrit got a lot of damage in his body. But jack couldn't stop by casting a low class of Ice spell. He cast a weird spell without controlling. A strange voice appeared speaking unknown language a huge black cloud came up the scene carrying a large Amount of water, Jack just lowered his hands and the water just fell on Ifrit in very fast and powerful speed. Ifrit tried to dodge the water ball but he couldn't because of the water balls speed. After a moments f silence Leon saw Jack downed on the floor, and Ifrit was fallen on the ground too. Leon didn’t care about Ifrit so he took Jack to the hospital. "Is he goanna be fine?" Leon said to the doctor. "Sure he will be fine he didn’t even spend a lot of his strength" said the doctor. "What do you me he didn’t spend a lot o his power? He just got all his power to defeat that giant mo…"Said Leon. The doctor cut his speech "I mean his body cells are growing very fast" said the doctor. "What the…! Ok thanks doctor" said Leon.
The doctor said in Accountability tone
"By the way you have to sign here to be sure who get him here and you can go talk to him now"



Story by: XDArknessBoyX
E-mail: XdarknessBoyX@hotmail.com
Story Line: Not Finished

..::Character::..
http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/7456/jackfc3ha6.png[/img]
Name: Jack
Age: 18

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/2104/hanafacevc0.png[/img]
Name: Jane
Age: 17

http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/8715/tomfacevj4.png[/img]
Name: Tom
Age: 18

Game is not completed so more will come

..::ScreenShots::..

http://deathkinggames.vndv.com/3.bmp[/img]

http://deathkinggames.vndv.com/1.bmp[/img]

..::Demo::..

http://www.mediafire.com/?emeummn4m1w

Credits are in game

Bugs: Dont know :P

please if you find any bugs in this demo just say it
and say you pure way of thinkin about the game :D
Any Suggestions please post here

NOTE:
anyone don't find his name in the Credits Just contact me
NOTE: I know the game sized 87mb and its demo...(i Puted all things i will need to finish the game not just this demo)

Sorry for my bad English
Thanks hope you Enjoy,
XDarknessBoyX
 
its short demo so i didnt got screans ....

nobody's going to download this if they don't know what they're in for.

a lot of people don't realize that the screenshots rule is for you, the developer. nobody will download or comment if you don't have screenshots of your game. i'd very seriously suggest that you add some gameplay screens so members know what your game would look like.
 
It would be nice to have more info on the game, expand the story more then just that one scentence. Make the file size shorter too if you are using mp3s convert them to .ogg it makes the file so much smaller(by a big shot) and you still get the same quality if you convert it right. I would download the demo but as you said its a short demo and 87mb for something that small... eh?
 
MORE Facemaker graphics?! I cannot take a project seriously if it uses such graphics. I'll look into your game and edit my post later for your critique.
 
Kylebot2000":zdk1kter said:
MORE Facemaker graphics?! I cannot take a project seriously if it uses such graphics. I'll look into your game and edit my post later for your critique.
I don't see the problem with the faces. Sure, they're reused quite a bit, but very few projects have face graphics, so I'd rather those than none at all. (although the colour of the eyes of the first character is waaaay too saturated). And why not take a project seriously? What basis do you have really? Quintessence uses those, and that's a pretty serious project.

Just looking over this, though, it's extremely and painfully obvious that you took a sprite of Arshes, put it in Microsoft Paint, and added some hair to it. Seriously...not a good sprite at all. Get someone to help you with it.

And the BBC tags in your first post are messed up.
 
thanks for you replays...

@rpgmakerwhat
I already changed my mp3s to oggs and I will put for you guyz The hole Story line that i wrote tell now

@KRoP 
I just got this screan shot while the screan flashes and before the test come out lol i should change it heh

@ Dadevster
Thanks for you replay and i will try to change THe hero arshes spirite and i will try to make him better ofcourse


Please dont be shy to replay and tell things about this project :D


XDarknessBoyX
 
The thread looks a bit better I would use spoilers though. And what else do you have in the game that would make it that big? Images, maps what lol? not many people are gonna want to download a short demo that is that big unless the shortness is an hour long.
 
the ruins map are just started to make

note: the demo wont say that its finished the last thing i have done was in chapter 2 of the game
note: please download it even if it was high size i want to know if ppl will like it if finished ot no...
 
I downloaded i and tried it out. I noticed that most of the filesize issue is with the music! Not all of them are ogg im not saying they have to be but make them smaller some how. You also it seemed exported all the original songs from rmxp and put them in the folder you don't need to do that, rmxp does that itself. I liked the chapter scenes(the picture that comes up and all). At he beginning though the red castle comes up or whatever randomly and just sits there forever and nothing happens it is very random. Also for the first scene dont have them just go directly to the orbs have them walk slowly to it as they say dont be scared, then they walk closer and closer etc.. Also the hair on the main characters sprite needs to be fixed. Like ChronoStopE said fix the empty space on the maps other then that I liked it, I haven't finished playing it when I do I will post bugs etc.
 
thanks rpgmakerwhat for testin the game and i will try to fix everything in the game that makes it borin

and about the songs i will try to take unused songs to make the size lower

thanks again


XDarknessBoyX
 
I've played your demo for about three minutes tops. For a first demo, it's a good start. Here are some things that you could work on.

-The conversations between the characters were horrible. I won't lie about that. I felt that each character were bland and found myself not interested in what they had to say (mostly hitting the spacebar to skip past). If I had to guess why, it'd be the "omg". I dunno if you were planning out what they were going to say or what, but I suggest you write out the conversations on paper first.

-Your mapping skills are ok but you should work on the interiors of the houses. What I might try to do is shrink the map size of the interiors. It may give you less space to work with but it'll help in the end.

-Character breathing was a cool thing to see but if you can, try to add that affect with your NPCs.

-Some of sound effects were pretty loud. At least in the beginning. Tone those sounds down a bit. After all we don't want any bleeding ears =D.

-The clouds were a nice touch but change their transparency because they were a little too dark for shadows.

That's all I can think of for now. I wish you the best of luck with your project!
 
thanks whitehaven i will try to fix things and i will realease a new demo when i finsih chapter 3

thanks for you all

anyone have thing to add please feel free
 

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